Kite Runner; Wanted, Matrix, Bladerunner, Fifth Element; Sin City, Seven Samurai, Ran, Hidden Fortress; Kill Bill 1/2, Pulp Fiction, Reservoir Dogs; Dawn of the Dead, Shaun of the Dead, Braindead, The Birds; Mirror, Russian Ark, Andrei Rublev, Ivan's Childhood, Ivan the Terrible I and II, Lilja-4-Ever; My Left Foot, Snatch, Trainspotting, Human Traffic, Kenny; Motorcycle Diaries, The Warrior, Central Station; Wonderful Life, Annie Hall, Love and Death, The Sleeper, Mary Poppins, Forrest Gump, Cinema Paradiso, Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Zulu, Italian Job; Die Hard, Enemy of the State; Elizabeth, Gladiator, Twelve Angry Men, Caligula; Platoon, Apocalypse Now, Deer Hunter, Independence Day, Porco Rosso.

"I wouldn't want to belong to a club that would have me as a member"; "Spurs will break into the Top 4 this season"; and the following from the film "Kenny":
.: There's a smell in here that will outlast religion!
.: From the back she looked like a fridge with a head.
.: This is the busiest time of year, this is a crazy time, it just goes bonkers. It's as silly as a bum full of smarties!
.[talking to fellow passenger about the in-flight toilet]
: Just watch it in there mate. That machine, once you press that flusher, that thing will probably suck your guts out through your bum.
.: I'd love to be able to say "I plumb toilets" and have someone say "Now that is something I've always wanted to do".
.: It takes a certain kind of person to do what I do. No-one's ever impressed; no-one's ever fascinated. If you're a fireman, all the kids will want to jump on the back of the truck and follow you to a fire. There's going to be no kids willing to do that with me. So, I don't do it to impress people - it's a job, it's my trade, and I actually think I'm pretty good at it.
.: It's what you come to expect. They think I'm the poo monster.
.: I don't know what all the fuss is about, it's 80% water and we've got chemicals to take care of the remaining 20.
.: Busier than a one-armed bricklayer in Baghdad.
.: When I was young I thought the song went "Australians, let's all ring Joyce for she is young and free"
.: Mad as a clown's cock
.: There's the urinal, and being a male, you have a prong on you that points forward, so I don't understand how they get it on their feet. They must point it down.
.: Funny part is parents look at me and say 'that's not much of a job, is it?'. And I say 'well you had kids, didn't ya. You spent the first two years handling their shit, and you weren't getting paid for that. And their shit is green. The only things that should be green are pears, apples and Martians.
.: There's another classic example of someone having a two inch arsehole and us having installed only one inch piping.
. [advice on getting married]
: Cut out the middle man; find someone you hate and buy them a house.