I’ve been a boxer, mascot, astronaut, baby proofer, imitation Krusty, truck driver, hippie, plow driver, food critic, conceptual artist, grease salesman, carnie, mayor, grifter, body guard for the mayor, country western manager, garbage commissioner, mountain climber, farmer, inventor, Smithers, Poochie, celebrity assistant, power plant worker, fortune cookie writer, beer baron, Kwik-E-Mart clerk, homophobe, and missionary, but protecting people, that gives me the best feeling of all.
TV and beer!
Phfft! Facts. You can use them to prove anything.
Hey, just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand!
Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation.
In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!
Trying is the first step towards failure.
To alcohol! The cause of -- and solution to -- all of life's problems!
We live in a society of laws. Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughin', did you?
Television -- teacher, mother, secret lover!
Maybe, just once, someone will call me "sir" without adding, "you're making a scene."