TV, beer and donuts, other snacks.

«It's Raining Men» The Weather Girls, «The Joker» Steve Miller Band, Grand Funk Railroad, SADGAZM/

Beer ... My only weakness. My Achilles' heel, if you will.

If you are happy and aware of this, swear.

Education does not help me. Every time I remember something, it's something that takes place, shoving something else out of my brain. Like this time, when I went to wine making courses and forgot how to drive.

In Catholicism, more stupid rules than in video rental.
Of course, Dad did a lot of good things in life, but now he's old, and old people are absolutely useless.

Women are like beer. They look good, smell good, and you're ready to step over your own mother, just to get them.

(putting Barth to bed) Do not grieve. People are constantly dying. How to know, maybe you wake up tomorrow dead.

Ha-ha-ha! My daughter thinks that vampires are real beings! Yes they are fictitious, like elves, gremlins or Eskimos.

I will not go to bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy. If so, let him move the sofa in the living room and make the bed. I want to sleep.

My favorite book: "So, you decided to unauthorizedly connect to cable television."

From now on, I will look forward to everything in a row. Oh my God! Tomorrow will be a special action: two pianos for the price of one! Oh-oh-oh, sooner tomorrow!

Radiation kills only those who believe in it.

I am a white man from 18 to 49. And everyone listens to me, no matter what nonsense I am carrying.

It's not easy to be torn between a pregnant wife and an unbalanced child, but I still found my eight hours at the TV.

Kill the boss ?! Will it raise my hand to fulfill the American dream?

Two lies are needed for lying. One lies, another listens.

Old people do not need a company. They need to be isolated and studied to find out if there are any substances useful to us.

Trying is the first step to failure.

The operator, how to call in 911 ?.

Look, people always have some statistics on everything. This is known to 14% of the population.

The only important thing in life is to be popular.

I see no reason to leave the house. We still come back every time.

The nuclear reactor is like a woman. Just read the instruction and press the correct button in time