“Unfortunately, in America, babies are not found in cola cans. I asked my mother when I was four, and she said they came from eggs laid by rabbis. If you aren't Jewish, they're laid by Catholic nuns. If you're an atheist, they're laid by dirty, lonely prostitutes.” (Mary and Max)

When it's after 2:00 a.m., just go to sleep because the decisions you make after 2:00 a.m. are the wrong decisions. (How I Met Your Mother)